Bill bought me the cutest onesie for Mother's day.
I'll admit, hearing "Happy Mother's Day" today was a bit weird. Although I appreciate the kindness of all who wished me Happy Mother's Day, it is still a little hard to grasp the concept that soon Bill and I will have a little one. It is even harder for me to grasp the concept that I am/will be a mother. Which led me to wonder, will I be good at it? According to Wikipedia, the definition of a mother is a woman who has conceived , given birth to, or raised a child in the role of a parent. Sounds simple enough, but still does not answer the question of whether I will be any good at this.
Another definition I found of mother is "the biggest and most significant example of its kind." Now that it one great definition. Who doesn't think of a mother when they think of the best example of a woman? I know I sure do. Sure, women can, and should, focus on their careers and independence, and many women are known for the great things they have done. However, I bet if you ask any of them what their most significant accomplishment was as a woman, they would say being a mother. For example, my mom is independent and career-oriented. Not only does she have a job that she loves, but she helps young adults shape their future by finding colleges and careers. Helping individuals pave their future is at the heart of what she believes in. But what is truly amazing about my mom is that she somehow managed to raise 5 kids to be talented, independent adults. So yes, when I think of the biggest and most significant example of a woman, the first thing that comes to mind is my mom. So now that I have established that my mom is the epitome of a great mother, will I be able to follow in her footsteps? Will I be able to raise children into independent adults?
Left with the still unanswered question of will I be good at motherhood, I decided to rephrase my thoughts. Instead of thinking will I be able to do this, I am starting to think what kind of mother do I want to be. The following passage written by Vicki Huffman, summarizes exactly how I want to be portrayed as a mother. It is long, please bear with me!
For a number of years, a Russian peasant woman held the record for having the most children. She bore 69—including numerous multiple births. She was most certainly a mother. (And undoubtedly a tired one.) But, I can't help wondering, was she a good mother?
What is a good mother, anyway?
A good mother doesn't nag — much. Only the essential amount and only about essential matters. Like where to squeeze the toothpaste, how to hang up pants without making eight creases, the inadvisability of 20-minute showers, and which noises are easily produced but socially unacceptable.
A good mother has a speech that begins, “When I was your age, kids had it much harder. My mother didn't take me everywhere. I didn't have all these things you kids take for granted....” She belts out this national anthem of motherhood regardless of the indifference of the crowd. She can make herself heard over a blaring CD player by teenagers hanging opossum-like over a bed with a phone plastered to one ear.
A good mother cooks, cleans, and launders without expecting to be appreciated. She knows that only in TV commercials do kids get excited about fragrant T-shirts or seeing their reflection in the china. In real life most kids have lost the directions to the laundry room and would be content to eat off paper plates or pizza boxes eternally.
But a good mother is much more than just a resident reminder service, cook, cleaning lady, and laundress. A good mother is a launching pad with a soft lap: hardheaded about discipline (especially compared with “everyone else's mother”) and soft-hearted about everything else. She motivates her children to help them reach their full potential and praises them whenever she catches them doing something right.
A good mother gives her children more than a balanced diet and a roof over their heads. She teaches them how to feed their souls and gives them a spiritual foundation on which to build. She directs them into the right paths and prays for them when they occasionally wander off onto others.
A good mother cares how her children turn out. She doesn't just wait for them to get out.
Stationary companies have tried to glorify motherhood by producing syrupy slogans on plaques. One of the worst is: “God couldn't be everywhere, so He created mothers.” That phrase may sell a lot of trivets, but it just isn't so. God is everywhere, and mothers can't be. I know because I've tried.
Maybe God created mothers because He needed someone to keep every generation reminded of His presence. Good mothers have been doing that for thousands of years, ever since Eve held her first wriggling infant in her arms.
Motherhood doesn't need to be sentimentally glorified with ridiculous statements, but it does need to be respected. It is a high calling, a God-given challenge.
The writer of Proverbs 31 described the woman who, like his mother, was a good mother: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed” (Proverbs 31:25-28a, New International Version).
Now, I have no idea who Vicki Huffman is, but man she is wise.
As I sit here not exactly sure how I am going to embark on this marathon of motherhood, I am comforted by all mothers who have graciously gone before me. I am also thinking that I should keep things as simple as possible. If our little one can grasp and understand what is written on his/her first little onesie, that mommy loves him/her, I know I am doing OK.
