Was the ultrasound everything I thought it was going to be? No. It was more, and different and unexplainable. I really planned for this day because I wanted to know exactly what I could expect to see. I didn't want surprises and I didn't want to be disappointed if I didn't see a lot. So, I looked at tons of ultrasound pictures to prepare myself. Baby Cole looked exactly like the ultrasounds I had seen online and in books. I was very relieved and realistically knew this was going to be the case. But, I didn't have any initial shock when I saw the ultrasound, saw the heartbeat or heard the heartbeat. It was almost like I was still looking at it from the outside. Bill, on the other hand, was pleasantly surprised and grateful that Baby Cole is doing so well.
Now, for the feelings that I did have. Nervousness. Extreme nervousness. Yes, nervousness towards being a mom and starting a family, but mainly nervousness towards being pregnant and delivering a baby. For some reason, pregnancy scares the crap out of me. The thought process goes something like this: OK baby, no questions about it, you are in the womb. I am going to be responsible for keeping you in there the next 8 months and then responsible for sucking it up and getting you out of there without passing out. That sounds terrifying. Lets just take a nap and think about it later.
Bill videoed the ultrasound and you can see and hear the heartbeat, it is so cool. I will upload it tomorrow.
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